Dear V

Here the other day, I told someone about you. I know that was breaking our promise but it felt like it was important that she'd know. And in some way it brought you back just a little. Like you started showing up sometimes now. Just for a moment or two every day. I really do miss you, I have to admit. Shedding you was an important part of growing up for me but I think, now, the reasonable thing would be to allow you back into my life. You are part of my identity and you taught me quite a few things about myself and I never really got around to thanking you, since you had to go away all of a sudden. But I'm glad you're back, if only perhaps for a short while. I'm not ashamed of you anymore, like I used to be. It felt like cheating, y'know, it felt like I was cutting corners when you were around. A different kind of life-hack. But I really want you to come back. You don't have to do things for me anymore, I won't demand anything, I just want you around because I think you're helping me stay focused. You're a better person than I am, despite your flaws. And maybe you need to stick around for a bit to teach me how you manage your flaws. How you turn them to your advantage. I won't try and force you to stay. Well, okay, maybe I will try. But you'll have it your way if I know you as well as I think I do. And I ought to. We're the same person.