Limitless

If we stop talking about it, it's gonna go away by itself. We tried everything we could think of that could possibly help and so... is it gone now? Not really no, so what are you gonna do to help me now? Oh nothing? Y'know... that's... I mean.. c'mon.. you even took my pills away, you didn't have to do that. So what if they didn't help, it makes a difference that they're gone. I need just a little courage to say what I've been waiting and waiting to say, what's I've been wanting to force myself into but never dared or maybe never cared enough. Or so it's gonna look like. Yes, again, another post without names or any nouns to reveal what the hell all this bull shit is supposed to mean, just empty complaints and emo blabber. HA. And here it came, tunnel vision. I've been hoping for it to show up for several days. Everything gets so small and distant. It feels like a little high, just a little one. The one that's nice to have just before you go to sleep; luckily it likes to show up whenever I'm tired. I'm zoning out. I just forgot everything there for a moment. But there it came rushing back. That sting in the chest. Group sessions, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, green pills, red pills, hynosis, fresh air, a pad on the fucking head. Depression comes rushing back right into my chest. I would say it never left but hey. I claimed to be happy on a few occasions, didn't I. I won't deny that. I'll just... push it aside a little 'cause it doesn't count. But dude... I'm zoning out on a vision high. The sky is my screen is my limit. No period

Rendering 48,67%

You were standing on the low railings, trying to keep your balance with your hand hoovering over my shoulder. I was looking up at you, smiling at how playful you were. "Come down from there." I said and you did exactly that with out question. I grabbed hold of your hand and told you to close your eyes. "Stay in this moment. Right now you and I are together, we're right here and we're together forever in this very moment if you can just keep it with you. I am standing in front of the most beautiful girl I have ever met and I have never been happier." Those were my exact words. My hand left yours only to slide around your back and hold you tight. You smiled and tugged at my shirt somewhat desperately. In that corner we stood, both holding back our tears but we were together forever in that moment. It's not very poetic or well written but I woke up about ten minutes ago and that was the part of my dream that stood clearest in my head. I don't believe in dream interpretation or anything like that really but it made me wake up with a smile on my face. I wanted to share it with you.

Prem Kumar: Final question for twenty million rupees, and he's smiling. I guess you know the answer. 
Jamal Malik: Do you believe it, I don't! 
Prem Kumar: You don't? So you take the ten million and walk? 
Jamal Malik: No. I'll play. 

World flash

Jeg sidder på cyklen, alt flyver forbi. Træer, skyer, buske, hegn. Biler, mennesker, lygtepæle. Asfalt asfalt asfalt. Sort. Sort i et par sekunder, der strækker sig længere og længere og bliver tidobbelt skræmmende hele tiden. Sort sort. Så træer, himmel, græs. Mennesker. Sort sort sort. Buldren i ørerne, jeg slipper styret. Igen lys, biler, biler, cyklister. Jeg lukker øjnene, når jeg cykler. Jeg lukker øjnene, så længe jeg tør. Når jeg åbner øjnene igen, er jeg en kujon. Når jeg holder dem lukket, har jeg hele verden i min hule hånd. Der er ikke nogen, der kommer til skade, for jeg er en kujon. Sort sort sort sort. Jeg tæller sekunderne, jeg tæller hjerteslag, jeg tæller hjul- og pedalomdrejninger, fordi jeg skal være i kontrol. Hvis jeg kom til skade, hvad skulle jeg så gøre? Jeg ved det ikke. Men det er ligemeget. For jeg er stadig en kujon.

Adventures pt. 3 - Let me let go

Being drunk. Intoxicated. Toxic through your veins that would be. Like getting smacked over the head with a guitar and then being asked to play it with mittens on. It's incredible how everything becomes acceptable as soon as the music plays, the blunt sound of cans and glasses and cans and cans, it's the perfect excuse. But man, is there any choice but being in that one gear: GO. What is there at all to want if you are not allowed to let yourself go for a minute, for an hour, for an evening... or a week? Boundaries, expectations, plans and chains and plans and plans. Let me let go. Plans and cans, I'm a fucking poet.

Teddy Daniels: Anything unusual occur? 
Nurse Marino: Define 'unusual'. 
Teddy Daniels: Excuse me? 
Nurse Marino: This is a mental institution, Marshal. For the criminally insane. Usual isn't a big part of our day. 

Adventures pt. 2 - Bird's eye

I put my nose in the air sometimes, saying eeeooowww I'm a freakin' tourist. That's what you told me, right, that it's easy to tell the tourists from the locals, not because the look too different but because the tourists will be walking around looking up and the locals will have their eyes locked at the ground; even though I must say that if I had such a beautiful view I would never again look down, I mean wow, skyscapers in the backyard, crossing the bridges that give the craziest view. It makes it all the more awful to come home again, no tall buildings, nothing open in the middle of the night, no life, no nothing in the dull and resting city of Copenhagen.

Adventures pt. 1 - New York, kvinde min.

New York has beautiful blue eyes in which I could gaze till the end of times. The streets, its veins, are electric and dynamic like nothing else and you can feel its pulsating movement beneath your feet for every step. For a week I have been pumping through her blood, not doing a thing to hide my foreigner's excitement and curiousity as I had my nose in the sky in bare admiration of the somewhat endlessly tall buildings, that seem all so unfamiliar for me. I must admit that I hadn't at all expected to have my breath taken away in such a manner. Even after a seven hour flight without sleep and the time now being ten in the morning, I feel incredibly awake. I don't think I have realized it yet, that I have said goodbye and gone home, left her behind, the city of wonders. Of any places in the world, I'd love to be back in that pink and green room, listening to the sound of paws against the floor and noise from the street outside. Take me back, take me home.