Famous for being famous

Jeg skriver SRO. Så jeg har ikke tid til at blogge.

Daniel: har lige opdaget dit youtube account lol
Arendse: Du er så hurtig, det tog dig kun halvandet år!

Daniel: nono interwebz is lagging sent this msg 1½ year ago

Ferdy-Amt Gekkofjæld

I've needed so badly to allow myself to relax without feeling guilty. Relax I say, I havn't done anything else for more than a week; no but relax without feeling awful about it and therefore not actually relaxing. I think I've been successful these last couple of days in doing so though I'm not quite sure if that's a good or a bad thing. On the bright side I actually feel good - without any pills or breathing exercises - I actually feel really good when I turn off my brain, lean back and play Super Smash Bros Brawl. On the other hand it might be a bad thing that I have actually been able to shut out all thoughts of homework because now all the things I had my whole break to do are clogged up and I have to work so awfully hard this week to get them done. I doubt it's realistic that I'll be able to finish everything I have to, even though as I'm writing this I in this very moment feel like I could write on and on about the Paris Hilton phenomonon and about Peter Something's way of writing that puts God in an awfully awkward position. Hell, I don't know. And it's not only homework, I have to be done at work soon which means I'll have to go there practically every day for the next three weeks. To make it all even better, it's my birthday this Thursday and I couldn't care less. I'd love some presents alright but I honestly don't have the energy for parties and families and smiles and shit. I just want to curl up in my work little world of working hard. I'd shut off the internet if I only had the guts; but I don't. I have to beat up Captain Falcon and Kirby. I have to make Ferdy-Amt reach the top of the Gaming career. I have to build the largest cobblestone castle in the world. I have to relax. I have to relax.

Plainview: You're not the chosen brother, Eli. It was Paul who was chosen. You see, he found me and told me about your land. You're just a fool.
Eli Sunday: Why are you talking about Paul? Don't say this to me.
Plainview: I did what your brother couldn't. I broke you and I beat you. It was Paul who told me about you. He's the prophet. He's the smart one. He knew what was there and he found me to take it out of the ground, and you know what the funny thing is? Listen... listen... listen... I paid him ten thousand dollars, cash in hand, just like that. He has his own company now. A prosperous little business. Three wells producing. Five thousand dollars a week.
[Eli cries]
Plainview: Stop crying, you sniveling ass! Stop your nonsense. You're just the afterbirth, Eli.
Eli Sunday: No...
Plainview: You slithered out of your mother's filth.
Eli Sunday: No.
Plainview: They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantlepiece. Where were you when Paul was suckling at your mother's teat? Where were you? Who was nursing you, poor Eli- one of Bandy's sows? That land has been had. Nothing you can do about it. It's gone. It's had. You lose.
Eli Sunday: If you would just take this lease, Daniel... 
Plainview: Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drained dry. I'm so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake... I... drink... your... milkshake! SLLLUURRPPPPP!!! I drink it up!

Pædagogisk dag

I dag var alle normale timer aflyst, fordi alle skolens elever og lærere skulle snakke om deres følelser med folk, de hverken rigtigt kender eller bryder sig om. Jeg kan godt med at samme afsløre, at det ikke er min yndlingsbeskæftigelse, men jeg sad alligevel forrest under fordraget og stillede tonsvis af spørgsmål, fordi jeg kan bare ikke dy mig. Dagen forløb på sin vis ret fredeligt; på et tidspunkt følte jeg mig endda ret meget ovenpå, dog skulle der ikke mere til end at Marcus pegede på mig og råbte "Det er noget bullshit!" og så brød det panikangstanfald ud, der havde ligget og ulmet under huden hele dagen. Det resulterede i, at jeg måtte udvandre fra klassen trampende og med et flammende rødt ansigt. Jeg nåede ikke at gemme mig selv væk ude på toilettet for at køle ned, men jeg nåede at smække døren bag mig og gå ca. en halv meter, hvorefter jeg kollapsede på gulvet. Til min overraskelse kom både Peter og Sanni styrtende og klappede mig på hovedet og holdt om mig uden at spørge om noget, og jeg kunne bare sidde og ryste med hovedet mod Sannis bløde studietrøje, der duftede af parfume. Eller måske var det Peter, der duftede, jeg ved det ikke. Jeg ville egentligt have været på arbejde, men jeg var så vred, da jeg skulle hjem. Christina lænede sig ind over mit bord lige efter timen sluttede og spurgte forsigtigt, om der var noget, hun kunne gøre. Jeg vrissede af hende, at det var der ikke, og det fortryder jeg måske lidt nu. Jeg ved det sgu ikke. Tårerne pilede ned af mine kinder, da jeg cyklede hjemad i alt for lidt tøj og i protest mod alle omkring mig havde Diacetylmorfin-listen bankende i ørene. Plat og vred som jeg var, råbte jeg højt af to idioter, der gik ude på cykelstien, bare fordi jeg skulle have en form for forløsning. Da jeg kom hjem, ville jeg have ringet til nogen. Mor, Louise, Holli, Niclas, nogen. Men det gjorde jeg selvfølgelig ikke. Jeg sad ude på badeværelsegulvet med lukkede øjne. De meditationsøvelser min psykiater har givet mig, virker ikke en skid som erstatning for de piller, jeg fik før. Jeg kan knapt huske, hvornår jeg sidst var så vred. Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvor længe jeg sad der, men per instinkt lagde jeg mig i mine forældres store seng og tændte for Paradise Hotel, hvilket overraskende nok hjalp gevaldigt. Jeg har ikke lyst til at tage i skole i morgen.

Riku: What I said back there... about thinking I was better at stuff than you... To tell you the truth, Sora... I was jealous of you.
Sora: What for?
Riku: I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.
Sora: Yeah, well, I've got my share of problems, too.
Riku: Like what?
Sora: Like... wanting to be like you.
Riku: Well, there is one advantage to being me... Something you could never imitate.
Sora: Really? What's that?
Riku: Having you for a friend.
Sora: Then I guess... I'm okay the way I am. I've got something you could never imitate too.

At least the waves sound the same

I just finished playing Kingdom Hearts II again. I have been playing the Sims 2 all day to get my mind off my own eveyday and into someone else's which had worked so far. I watched an episode of one of my favorite shows currently on air which threw me off going back to Sims - so I picked up my PS2 controller and reminded myself that I was at "The World That Never Was" and that the game was close to its end. I must admit, even though I knew it had been like this the first time, completing the game and watching the last movie part made my throat clog and and my eyes overflow. It literally stug inside of my chest when Sora and Riku falls into the sea to become reunited with Kairi and the others, finally returning home. I won't be able to return to playing something as brain dead as Sims for some time, I'm sure. I doubt I'll even be able to be awake at school for a few days. I mentioned in an earlier post - when I finished reading Death Note - that it gave me the same feeling as when I first completed Kingdom Hearts II. I simply must had forgotten the feeling it gave because there is nothing like it; nothing I have ever felt at least.

Brok

I am so sick and fucking tired of people worrying. Worrying about their future and their past and their present and their career, their family, their love life. Just shut up and calm down already. Okay, if you're 57, single, unemployed and so on, sure, you can go on and worry a little - but if you're 20, attenting school and have hair on your head and you are able to produce children then calm the shit down because yor life isn't that fucking bad. Things have their way of falling into the holes in which they fit and they will do so eventually. I am so tired of people complaining about how they have no idea about how they want to live their lives. You don't even get to decide that! Life is not something you sit down and plan out, it's something that comes along. You can calculate where you want to work in 15 years or how many kids you are gonna get. Perhaps in a week from now you will get run down by a bus and you will never maybe able to have children. Maybe you'll never be able to walk again. Then you can't become the actor or the football player you wanted to. Take life as it comes and shut up because I don't are about your worries about the evil government and the evil media and the evil evil evil future in which you are already raising your imaginary kids.